weird totally true stories

When I was a kid we used to hear about how Randolph, Utah was the coldest place in the nation during winter and spring and my dad would tell us how when they all slept in rows upstairs (which they did) it was so cold that they would take off their Levis after a long hard day working on the ranch and jump into bed and then jump back into their frozen Levis still standing up first thing in the morning when they woke up.

Earwigs will crawl in your ear and eat your brains. I used to be relieved that was and old wives tale until a couple of years back my friend and neighbor told me she woke up in the night as an earwig crawled in her ear.

Don’t swallow gum because it won’t digest and it will stay in your stomach for 7 years!

Don’t swim after eating! You’ll cramp up and drown!

I don’t recall actual anecdotes to back up these repeated warnings, but they were presented to me as fact.

Facts which have since been disproven.

Watch out for the Bear Lake Monster–it will get you! (By the way, I have since come to terms with the lack of a Bear Lake Monster and accepted the fact that the Utah Lake Monster is only moss, but I still believe in Nessie!)*

My kids grew up with way better stories (aside from the lake monster stories) than I did, always asking their Grandpa Rowley to tell about when Butch Cassidy and friends hid out on the property his dad homesteaded in the Uintah Basin, or the curse of the lost treasure people are still looking for out that way, or, on a good night, any words they can get out of him about skin walkers.

But my personal favorite is how my mother always warned me to be careful about rolling my eyes at her because they were going to get stuck back in my head.

I was so relieved when that never actually happened.

Until I had a teenaged daughter to whom I will not lie and I found myself curse-less.

I had to resort to looking her in the eye and saying, “Do not mess with The Queen” and rolling my eyes right back at her.

It never worked–as in it didn’t stop her–but somehow it made me feel a little better. Sometimes.

[Day 83 of Ann Dee Ellis’ 8-Minute Memoir.]

Post edit: Speaking of lake monsters, this is a fun read and video about a legend in my home state.

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