School lunch FOOD FIGHT!

weaponofchoiceI may or may not have just now whipped up a batch of lumpy homemade chocolate pudding simply for the photo op (blurry spoonful or no)

Elementary school cafeterias are so cliche. The bland lunch tables. The generic food. The elite cool table. And everyone else.

As an oldest child, I generally kept out of trouble. I had a responsibility complex and it was ingrained in me to set a good example. But when provoked or when I otherwise deem it necessary, I can stand up like nobody’s business.

I don’t recall who started the harassment, or what, exactly was said. But an entire row of my male classmates were giving me a hard time. (I just recalled – I know I was wearing the soft brown wide-wale corduroy because the aftermath is etched in my memory.)

But I had had enough.

I took a heaping spoonful of pallid chocolate pudding, leveled it horizontal, grabbed the spoon end with my right index finger, pulled back, turned it sideways, and let it go.


I nailed a whole row of smart-mouthed boys right across the face.

It was epic.

As was the food fight/cafeteria brawl that ensured.

I know this because one of those boys has both messaged me on Facebook and provided a descriptive play-by-play in a comment thread over the past couple of years. He STILL remembers! And this must have been at almost 45 years ago.

It was, truly, one of my proudest moments.

Amazingly, I don’t recall an inquisition on the part of the school administration and I don’t believe a single one of us was punished for the uprising. Or the horrible mess.

And I generally behaved myself outside of that moment.

But it remains a proud moment of culinary adeptness. And I don’t regret it.

[Day 14 of Ann Dee Ellis’ 8-Minute Memoir.]

One thought on “School lunch FOOD FIGHT!

  1. Wow! I’m impressed. That you had the gumption and the follow through is amazing. My buttoned up little self would have acted horrified but underneath, worshipped you.

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