slc jan 2009

just over a week ago as shane and i were preparing for a little anniversary getaway in midway we couldn’t stop ourselves from saying from time to time, “a year ago today…” and “this time last year…”

it was just around midnight on the eve of our 21st anniversary when a very patient shane broke the terrible news he’d been carrying around heavy in his heart for most of the afternoon–he’d been diagnosed with cancer. after a sleepless night and despite second thoughts, we headed south the next day for a surprise he had already planned–a return to a bed & breakfast we’d stayed at years ago in manti, which is where we were married in 1987.

words fail to sufficiently describe those days. that trip. or how we felt. but

shocked
heavy
stricken
grieving
terrified

may give you a small glimpse.

***********

midway dec 2009

this year we headed north. we spent a quiet and cozy dinner right next to the fireplace at the homestead. and our hearts were both full of gratitude and yet oh so much lighter than they had been just a dozen months before.

on the morning of the 12th i woke up early and flung open the curtains of the condo where we were staying. as i took in the wonder of the freshly fallen snow and sent up yet another simple prayer of gratitude for being blessed to live in such a beautiful world, i recalled staring out the window at the snowy vistas visible from shane’s hospital room just after his surgery at huntsman.

what a difference a year makes.

the once-again inadequate words written on my heart this day were

brightness
hope
faith
blessed
thankful