Sun 8 Nov 2009
as we walked in the door of the house after church today suzie q. asked
“is my lip fat?”
i looked at her lower lip and told her it looked fine to me.
“why, did somebody hit you?” i asked.
“no,” she said.
“then why would you be worried about your lip?” i asked.
suze wouldn’t respond and i could tell she didn’t want to talk about it, but i asked again as we walked into the kitchen to make some sandwiches.
she finally spilled.
“lynda gave the lesson in young women today. it was about drugs. she asked me to talk about *kate. i had to bite my lip the whole time because i didn’t want to cry.”
i get that. when i was a kid i dealt with pain by getting mad because there was no way i was going to cry.
but when it comes to kate i still want to cry.
later lynda called me on the phone to tell me she’d kept suze. from her regular class today because she needed to teach the laurels and she felt impressed to ask suzie q. to come with her.
“i felt that it would be good for suze to be there. i wanted her there for moral support. and i wanted her to share what she remembered about kate’s last day alive.”
just typing those words brings tears to my eyes and pulls at my heart.
because i will never forget that day. the day a kind and merciful god led us to the right place and we got to say goodbye to kate. i will never forget the next day, when shane stood in melody’s door frame and said the words, “kate’s gone.” and i will never forget holding lynda in my arms while the morticians carried kate’s body out of her new apartment on the corner of 8th north and university.
i asked lynda what suze had said. lynda told me how she had been surprised that suze cried. she didn’t realize how affected suze would be as she told the laurels about how we had bumped into kate at the arts fair after the 4th of july parade. and how we bought her and her boyfriend snowcones. and how we got to say goodbye.
“she was so happy!” suze recalled.
i’m grateful that suze remembered how happy kate was. she had just gotten her life back on track after years of serious struggles. she was taking care of herself. she had good friends. she was preparing to go to the temple. and she was happy.
most importantly, i was grateful that lynda got to hear that from suze. today. over five years later. and that lynda got to see how very much my suze loved her kate. i’m grateful because i still remember the time lynda was talking about kate and her voice broke as she expressed to me her fear that everyone would forget kate.
i want lynda to know we haven’t forgotten.
*you can read more about kate here. but i want to state for the record that kate’s death was due to an accidental overdose of prescribed methadone. methadone is one of the leading causes of accidental drug overdoses. if you or someone you love is prescribed methadone, ask your doctor for information and precautions about the dangers of methadone.